A Clean Slate?

So today has been one of those days… you know the type when you can’t concentrate on what’s going on now, and you dream of a life you wish you could be living?
It’s not that I’m unhappy with where I am now. Far from it actually. But there is something in me that keeps wanting more. I know that I can be more than who I am right now…
I guess that’s the hard part of life huh?
I keep trying to figure out what it is? Is it the expansion of my family… well yes in part… Is it a change in my job situation… well yes in part. Is it a change in finances… well yes in part. Is it a change in location… well yes in part. Is it about getting more involved in things that actually matter and can impact the future… well yes in part.

You see it’s not one of these things that I want, but all of them at once. See I don’t want to start working part time. I don’t think that would make me happy as then I would have more time on my hands to not be doing the stuff I feel called to. I don’t want to just have another baby, as that just brings more difficulties to the pot. Work. Money. Childcare. Everything gets more complicated.

I want, in its entirety, a clean slate.

Is that possible? Who knows.

But what I do know is that I don’t want to wake up when I’m 30 and I’m still living the life I’m living right now. It’s fabulous and fantastic, but it’s normal and ordinary.

I’m not normal and ordinary. My husband is not normal and ordinary. My daughter is not normal and ordinary (she’s a genius I tell you!).

I just want more! Is that so bad?