Kill the Rodent
Ok, let's just start this by saying that although I am a huge animal love, I have an extreme fear of
1. Armadillos
2. Possums
I don't know what it is about them, but they completely and totally freak me out. I scream and run from them like the stereotypical little girl, but I don't care. I just HATE them! I really want them all to die. I don't give a hoot what they do for the environment, what they help keep regulated... All I know is that they are creepy and sneak around at night and scare the crap out of me.
Case in point. My dog was in his bed in the kitchen by the back door, it's 1 in the morning and he starts freaking out. Well we have this big fat calico cat that gets into our backyard and gets on our porch and just stares at Jedi to irritate him. I normally have to get up and go scare the cat off so Jedi doesn't wake the house up. Well when he starts barking I figure it's the cat and I half asleep go over to the back door and normally I just open it and yell as turning on the light doesn't really do anything, but this time I hesitated for just one second and flipped on the light instead, and what was staring up at me facing the door? BUT A NASTY FREAKING POSSUM!
It's eyes pierced my soul! It scared me so bad... I really think that if I would have opened the door it would have ran in the house... omg I don't know what I would have done! I just sat there stunned and almost let out a piercing scream, but then thought better of it as my husband would have run out of the bedroom waving his handgun shooting into the dark.
Thankfully after a moment of hesitation, the freaky nasty ran off and I walked back in my room thinking that at any moment a possum was going to swing from it's tail and land on my head and bite me. I started having cramps because my heart was pumping so hard and I was like, great, this freakin' possum is going to make me miscarry, fabulous.
Then I tried to go back to sleep, but was freaked out because the possum was like the spawn of Satan, then when I finally fell back to sleep I had crazy animal dreams the rest of the night...
Moral of the Story, if you see a possum, kill it.
1. Armadillos
2. Possums
I don't know what it is about them, but they completely and totally freak me out. I scream and run from them like the stereotypical little girl, but I don't care. I just HATE them! I really want them all to die. I don't give a hoot what they do for the environment, what they help keep regulated... All I know is that they are creepy and sneak around at night and scare the crap out of me.
Case in point. My dog was in his bed in the kitchen by the back door, it's 1 in the morning and he starts freaking out. Well we have this big fat calico cat that gets into our backyard and gets on our porch and just stares at Jedi to irritate him. I normally have to get up and go scare the cat off so Jedi doesn't wake the house up. Well when he starts barking I figure it's the cat and I half asleep go over to the back door and normally I just open it and yell as turning on the light doesn't really do anything, but this time I hesitated for just one second and flipped on the light instead, and what was staring up at me facing the door? BUT A NASTY FREAKING POSSUM!
It's eyes pierced my soul! It scared me so bad... I really think that if I would have opened the door it would have ran in the house... omg I don't know what I would have done! I just sat there stunned and almost let out a piercing scream, but then thought better of it as my husband would have run out of the bedroom waving his handgun shooting into the dark.
Thankfully after a moment of hesitation, the freaky nasty ran off and I walked back in my room thinking that at any moment a possum was going to swing from it's tail and land on my head and bite me. I started having cramps because my heart was pumping so hard and I was like, great, this freakin' possum is going to make me miscarry, fabulous.
Then I tried to go back to sleep, but was freaked out because the possum was like the spawn of Satan, then when I finally fell back to sleep I had crazy animal dreams the rest of the night...
Moral of the Story, if you see a possum, kill it.
Labels: life
posted by Des at
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
10 Comments:
ok that made me laugh SOOO HARD..first that is NOT what the possum looked like, only in your cute little paranoid head...
but second...i do understand...but possums tend to run from me...but i am SCARED SCARED of armadillos if I am not IN a car...they tend to chase you! have you ever seen that...tons of places in austin and camping trips with friends...yep...they CHASE YOU...all the more reason to re-elect armadillos as the spawn of the spirit of make-girls-fearful-by-chasing-them
(please don't tell me I will get punished for saying Spirit Of) - Tiff
a possum held my roommate and I captive for 30 minutes one Saturday morning as it dined on a peanut butter sandwich that it had dug out of the garbage we had set out for pick up. Our apartment was on the third story- how's that for some balls. When we would open the door- it would stop eating and hiss at us then go back to eating.
This is just really funny! I laughed out loud several times. I can just imagine you freaking out and trying not to scream.
First off that picture of the possum sent chills down my back. Secondly, I laughed out loud a few times. This is so funny!!
When I saw the title of this blog, "kill the rodent," I was really hoping you had found and posted the video of you girls and Hunter reenacting the rat in Kiki and Butt's room in Cyprus. Oh, well, it was entertaining nontheless. --Hannah
Amen Sister....I am absolutely TERRIFIED of possums too!! They have got to be the nastiest animal on the planet. One time when I used to stay with the Nickerson kids when their parents would travel, we heard their dog barking one night and Jon and I went outside and one was out by their fence and it was hissing at us and I swear that thing marked me for life. NASTY!!!!! I am like you, my heart starts racing and I am sure my blood pressure goes sky high. I am sorry you had to endure that moment......LOL!!
marla daniels
mrdaniels68@charter.net
? I think they are sorta cute. When they aren't hissing, that is. But I think rats and armadillos are cute too! I see God's beauty in everything :P haha
-Stephanie G.
so am i suupose to eat the possum after i've killed it?!?
if you are okay with digesting Satan's spawn
Ok Des this one just totally made me laugh out loud. Jerry would of been rolling in the floor. It is just a little possoum. They play dead to get you to leave them alone. I actually thought you were going to tell a story about you bludgeoning a mouse/rat to death and make me feel better for being able to do that. I am still laughing, I would have probably run into the bedroom and yelled at Jerry to "GET UP and GET THE POSSOUM. hahahahahahaha
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