Anxiety Attack
So last night, in the middle of the night I woke up suddenly.
Jon said I started gasping and saying "something's wrong, something's wrong."
I don't remember saying that, but I do remember waking up and knowing that I was in the middle of an anxiety attack.
I couldn't breathe and it felt like sharp stabbing pains in my chest. I knew what was happening, although it has never happened to me before. My family has a history of these things, so I just sat still and took deep breaths. It took about 5 minutes for me to be able to breathe normally and for the stabbing pains to go away.
It was really strange. I of course didn't sleep well the rest of the night.
I think I'm just kind of stressed. Mainly it's just money stress. I wish I knew how we were going to be able to work everything out that needs to be worked out in the coming months. We are trying to adjust our lifestyle to make it rely solely on Jonathan's income and I just don't see how that is going to happen. I mean, I can see to an extent, but it just makes me feel panicky. It's not that we don't have money right now, we are doing perfectly fine. I just know that in the coming months we have some huge bills that need to be paid (Europe trip, $2000 deductible, holidays, etc.) and the whole time we are trying to adjust to living on a smaller income as I know inevitably it's going to have to happen at least for a time after the baby is born. I don't think 6 weeks maternity is going to cut it, on any level, so we are going to have to figure out a way to live on one income for a time.
I just wish I had a plan. I don't, and that's what's stressing me out.
Ok, so I just wanted to write about my funky anxiety attack as I've never had one before.
On a positive note!
We went by Kristina Hippman's toy extravaganza last night and picked up some awesome Little People sets. Lyric is having SO much fun with them. I love seeing her happy and playing, it's such a peaceful thing, when your kid is just happy :) She also loves a Belle doll we picked up from them and carried it around, even to bed last night.
Here is her Little People collection thus far:
I was talking to Jon this morning and Lyric was playing with the castle. Normally she jumps at the chance to talk to me on the phone, especially when it entails holding Jon's iPhone. But this time, Jon couldn't even get her to hold the phone. All she would do was yell hi and not even turn to look at him as she was too busy playing.
I've been replaced by Little People.
Just for fun, let's talk about my belly button for a minute. Normally I have a very deep, innie belly button. When I was pregnant with Lyric, it took quite a while for it to flatten out and it only popped at the very end.
But this time around, my belly button is almost completely flat and the top is already starting to pop out... how strange is that.
For your viewing pleasure, my belly button
I guess it just has sensory recall and decided not to fight it, but seriously, it's kind of nuts.
Finally, my parents left today for DC. They are with the Hogans and are touring around DC today and then tomorrow going to be attending The Call. They are going to have a BLAST! I am so jealous and I wish I was with them. Have fun mom and dad!
Well today is my Friday as I don't work tomorrow. I am wishing the hours to pass quicker as I'm exhausted after last night... pass quickly time!
Jon said I started gasping and saying "something's wrong, something's wrong."
I don't remember saying that, but I do remember waking up and knowing that I was in the middle of an anxiety attack.
I couldn't breathe and it felt like sharp stabbing pains in my chest. I knew what was happening, although it has never happened to me before. My family has a history of these things, so I just sat still and took deep breaths. It took about 5 minutes for me to be able to breathe normally and for the stabbing pains to go away.
It was really strange. I of course didn't sleep well the rest of the night.
I think I'm just kind of stressed. Mainly it's just money stress. I wish I knew how we were going to be able to work everything out that needs to be worked out in the coming months. We are trying to adjust our lifestyle to make it rely solely on Jonathan's income and I just don't see how that is going to happen. I mean, I can see to an extent, but it just makes me feel panicky. It's not that we don't have money right now, we are doing perfectly fine. I just know that in the coming months we have some huge bills that need to be paid (Europe trip, $2000 deductible, holidays, etc.) and the whole time we are trying to adjust to living on a smaller income as I know inevitably it's going to have to happen at least for a time after the baby is born. I don't think 6 weeks maternity is going to cut it, on any level, so we are going to have to figure out a way to live on one income for a time.
I just wish I had a plan. I don't, and that's what's stressing me out.
Ok, so I just wanted to write about my funky anxiety attack as I've never had one before.
On a positive note!
We went by Kristina Hippman's toy extravaganza last night and picked up some awesome Little People sets. Lyric is having SO much fun with them. I love seeing her happy and playing, it's such a peaceful thing, when your kid is just happy :) She also loves a Belle doll we picked up from them and carried it around, even to bed last night.
Here is her Little People collection thus far:
I was talking to Jon this morning and Lyric was playing with the castle. Normally she jumps at the chance to talk to me on the phone, especially when it entails holding Jon's iPhone. But this time, Jon couldn't even get her to hold the phone. All she would do was yell hi and not even turn to look at him as she was too busy playing.
I've been replaced by Little People.
Just for fun, let's talk about my belly button for a minute. Normally I have a very deep, innie belly button. When I was pregnant with Lyric, it took quite a while for it to flatten out and it only popped at the very end.
But this time around, my belly button is almost completely flat and the top is already starting to pop out... how strange is that.
For your viewing pleasure, my belly button
I guess it just has sensory recall and decided not to fight it, but seriously, it's kind of nuts.
Finally, my parents left today for DC. They are with the Hogans and are touring around DC today and then tomorrow going to be attending The Call. They are going to have a BLAST! I am so jealous and I wish I was with them. Have fun mom and dad!
Well today is my Friday as I don't work tomorrow. I am wishing the hours to pass quicker as I'm exhausted after last night... pass quickly time!
posted by Des at
Thursday, August 14, 2008
5 Comments:
Don't panic! It always works out in the end.
Maybe this Christmas your family could draw names and only have to buy one present.
I'm not so worried about holidays, as that's the joy of Christmas bonuses... it's more of after the baby is born...
oh, ok.
Korbin has been playing with the little people toys all day long! They are amazing. He talks to them and calls them Brad and Abby. I found a big bundle of all the little people toys on EBAY for like $60. I'm thinking about buying it.
yard sales are the place to buy Little People. conrad has a bitchin collection and i swear i've only probably paid $15 for all of them.
hey des,
coming from someone who feels the money woes on a daily basis, i would love to encourage you. it really does work out and not because money magically falls from the sky or anything but because God is amazing and if you know your suppose to be home with your new baby He will make provisions; for us it is on a weekly basis. it's also taken a lot of creativity and hard work on my behalf to make each dollar go as far as possible, but i know you know, it's so worth it. here are some ideas that have saved us:
1. WIC
2. hanging your clothes to dry
3. running the a/c during mid-day only
4. cancelling every expense that doesn't pertain to survival. ie- gym memberships, eating out, cable, etc.
5. when grocery shopping opt to buy ingrediants to make the things you would usually buy already made.
6. freeze leftovers
7. live off the land as much as is possible in texas. i pick berries and stuff here.
8. yard sale for everything not food and hygenic.
9. have a yard sale
10. learn to go without various luxuries. i haven't had my hair cut in quite awhile now just because it's $40 we shouldn't spend.
11. make paying down bills with interest first priority.
12. be a home body.
forgive me if that list comes across as know-it-all-ish. like i said, i am so there and know from being there, you can do it!!!
I agree with you Des... it's probably stress and I agree with other comments that the Lord provides and will work it all out... Missie Rose had some great ideas I thought :)
I used to have panic attacks and thru MUCH seeking & studying years ago, I found that mine were caused by my silver fillings that had mercury in them... mercury is poisonous... I haven't had them since getting all my silver fillings out and some of my attacks were where I literally felt it coming on, very rapid heart beat, some trembeling, tightness in chest and a few other things like I felt like I couldn't breathe very well and thought I was going to DIE at the time it came on.... If you can take Pepto while being pregnant, that was the only thing that somehow helped calm it down...go figure...!
Maybe you could start a Desi's daycare in your home while staying home with your little ones to make some extra moolah or petsitting (if that worked out with having babies)? God will download your provision when it needs to come :) Rest in the Lord and we will be praying for you!
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